Cautiously un-cautious

There was a time that I would analyze every part of every decision I use to make. It did make for precise planning, accurate time schedules and reliability. Yet, it left one important thing out, spontaneity.

I had thrown out my old way of thinking, fully out of the airplane window, while I was on my way to Iceland a few months ago. I literally held in my hands, my cautious ways wrapped in it’s pink bow, and threw it full force out of the window by the coast of Greenland. Figuratively, of course. I was on my way to backpack Europe without really anything set in stone.

A few months of living without a precise outline of to dos and schedules, has left me feeling more alive than I have ever dreamed of feeling. Sure, there was a time that I was left in a train station with nowhere to sleep. And sure, there was a time where that train station I was left in and had intended on sleeping in, closed for the night, so I was left out in the cold and dark streets of a foreign city. (Paris) The “old me” would of never had allowed that to happen, I would of researched opening and closing schedules of the train station, back up hotels and motels near by in case of an emergency and I would of had back up back up places to go in case of a bigger emergency.

Jessica embraces life differently than I do, well, did. She doesn’t approach it carelessly or without warning and guard – yet she doesn’t stress herself out on everything that could go wrong. When traveling with someone, in such close quarters as we were, you have to come to a middle of approaching things and handling situations. Because if you do not, it can cause a hell of a clashing, we definitely can vouch for that. We both adapted and evolved so we could coexist in the manner we were traveling, the backpacking manner. I am forever grateful of these past few months, because I left my insane cautious ways back by Greenland, and I have become cautiously un-cautious.

I am now in my new town of Asheville, North Carolina, living my life in a whole new light. Fearless living is a much more stable life. There was this one time while I was an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) in Florida driving this huge ambulance for the first time, it was a bariatric (for overweight patients) ambulance, so it was much bigger than the normal ambulances I was use to of driving. I had a coworker who liked the fact that I was relatively new, and emerged in the happiness it brought him to question everything I did. It made me paranoid, it made me make careless mistakes because I was so paranoid. It’s just like if you place a glass on the floor, and the person next to you repeatedly says “don’t spill that drink, watch that drink, you’re gonna spill that drink.” You become very paranoid of it enough that you will probably wind up spilling it. That happened to me on the ambulance, my partner was watching me from the back and questioning me, yapping in my ear – that I wound up taking a corner too tight and busting a tire on the truck. Something that would of never of happened if it was a feel good, relaxed and positive mood.

So here I am, with a much smoother mood, ready to take life by its horns.

I suggest you do too…

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